Butch lesbian dating


Simply dressing and grooming for a butch woman can be a political statement–she is saying that the socially constructed version of womanhood does not define her.And, should you leave a situation at the request of your partner that would’ve turned out fine, you lose nothing.And, again, I often am perceived as such, just as I feared.But I cannot base my decisions on fear of the prejudices and ignorance of others.

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She can pass for being straight, but we know she’s not because she said so and because of who she is with (i.e. A butch is the lesbian who will never put on a dress or wear makeup, a bra or thong that comes from Victoria’s Secret. She’s the one who builds houses, drives a motorcycle and loved her military service because she could wear a uniform just like the guys. Femme lesbians are seen a lot more often in the media and get the leading celesbian roles in lesbian media. It sparked the stereotypical question that is still often asked, “So who’s the guy? ” It’s a stupid question because no one is trying to be the guy in a lesbian relationship, and no one is arguing about who wears pants versus who wears the dress or who’s going to have the baby. These rules are only to be followed if you have a mutual trust and respect.I am presuming that, in choosing your partner, you have found someone who makes it her priority to maintain the best interest of your relationship. Masculine identified women are well aware of how the world views them.When your butch girlfriend or wife trusts you enough to share some of her struggles being a masculine woman, believe her.

Don’t downplay her experience, don’t diminish her story, and don’t doubt the gravity of what she’s been through as a result of doing nothing more than being herself. Have you ever felt completely unheard and misunderstood when sharing this with a man?

In this case, it’s better to err on the side of safety–and on the side of your girlfriend or wife.